Friday, 22 March 2013

When am I a mummy?

My wonderful husband and I went to the home of our daughter's foster parents this week for introductions. This is the week when our daughter has time to get used to us and we learn her routine prior to our returning home with her for good.

Before we left we kept asking the question; when are we parents? I guess ' tummy mummys  also question this; at what point after conception are they a mother? Most babies that are wanted are considered a baby straight away, but we doubt our motherhood.  Adoption is even more confusing.  We go through so many stages; we have to chose a child, but more importantly we have to be chosen by those with the power to agree if,then a court date to agree the match, then introductions, then living in your ome, then a court application for permanent adoption. We agreed parenthood wasrobably when we took her home to live with us.

However something shocking happened. It was sooner! We took her out for the day and watched her sleep. W watched her as other parents watch their newborns.  We suddenly became aware of how strange we looked; taking such pride in our child.  More importantly, people saw we were her parents.

We took her to the local cathedral and watched her fall asleep.  She kept looking to check we were there. We prayed, my agnostic husband and I prayed and were handful for her.  We were ins uh awe of this other human beings smile, her holding our finger, a dirty nappy and her allowing us to change it.

We send pictures to our family members and the excitement that these images generate is palpable.  We are all fulling in love with a little girl who other people say has a disposable life. Since my 30s I have been pro-life despite having an abortion when I as younger.  My husband, I think, held he consensus of pro-choice; bu I know in his heart he completely respects life. Recently I made a prolife comment in response to something on the news and my husband gave me a look hat reflected the consensus. But then I said to him; they're talking about our daughter. She comes from the yoe of background that most people think would justify abortion.  His face changed.

A face attached to the moral discussion makes a difference. More importantly loving her ales all the arguments null ad void.

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I welcome your posts whether you agree with me or not. Can I ask that people are respectful to each other; no-one has the right not to be offended, but I think that we can talk to each other without swearing or using personal insults.
If you want to use the whole "sky fairy" thing when you're talking to people with faith that too is your perogitive. Just know that for me and many others when you do you've lost the argument.