Saturday, 4 May 2013

Making biscuits for my baby and looking for advice on how to help my husband...

Heaven at home.

I woke this morning to the sweetest thing. My darling daughter had woken up at 6am and I went to get her. Despite the early time her smile was so beautiful and trusting. My husband was also awake and getting ready for work so I took her into bed with me with the prayer all mothers must pray; 'Please, just ten minutes more. Just fall asleep with me for ten more minutes.'

She didn't.

In spite of this I had a lovely experience. She rolled over and kissed me on my mouth, dummy still in, with a loud mmmmmmwwwah! I opened my eyes and she stared down at me with her eyes open, smiling into mine. She then sat up and back and grinned down at me. I couldn't resist and she knew it!

My husband came in to give us both a kiss and off to work he went.

How being dependent liberates you for love.

Some people talk of a mother being at home as if it we're slavery. I know it feels like society does not appreciate it, but I also kow my husband does. He leaves from the warmth and the love to go into the world. Having had two demanding careers I know the stress and strains he faces.

Last evening he came home from work with a worried demeanor. I asked him what the problem was. In a way I can relate to he tried to dismiss my queries. All I could do was hug him.

I tried to ask again some time later, but still no response.

When I worked outside of the home I didn't share my work problems with him either. We seem to have set up a loving relationship that coexist, in parallel, yet are still separate.  By staying at home his fortunes become mine, his worries mine.  We have never been so together as there is no get out option. I am dependent upon him.

It has become fashionable to decry this situation, but in a way it is liberating.  By making myself vulnerable I open myself truly to love.  Whereas in the past I had no need to continue to search as to what the problem was I now have, but also a deeper love out of the appreciation that he bears these stresses for us and appreciates what I contribute.

But how do I help?

I am here in a warm kitchen baking for my family and I'm wondering; how can I support my husband?

If there is any advice I would great fully receive it.

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I welcome your posts whether you agree with me or not. Can I ask that people are respectful to each other; no-one has the right not to be offended, but I think that we can talk to each other without swearing or using personal insults.
If you want to use the whole "sky fairy" thing when you're talking to people with faith that too is your perogitive. Just know that for me and many others when you do you've lost the argument.